I always think of the phrase, "You've met your match." You really do want someone who challenges and spars with you.— I recently asked myself: What would social science have to say to a matchmaker? Measures of personality don't predict anything, but how people interact does.Chemistry is an alluring concept, but much too frequently people use it to absolve themselves of the need to consciously examine their approach to one another.As if the muse of love will alight on their shoulder and sprinkle fairy dust on them, and then they will suddenly open their eyes and behold The Perfect Mate—without prying open their own heart, embracing an unwavering willingness to see the other in a positive light or doing the hard work of exploring, knowing and respecting another human being. It involves a dauntingly complex interplay of biology and behavior.The way the Dating Compatibility Test works is simple.You will be asked a series of questions which you must answer honestly.
— Sensitivity to the issue of compatibility may be in and of itself a sign of trouble. And increasingly, it's the lone element absent from our otherwise fortunate lives. It's a cornerstone of our humanity; only love protects us enough to grow and change.And each suggested the same thing: We're looking at love all wrong. It's a process, one that you negotiate as you go along. It's a disposition, an attitude, a willingness to work.Compatibility does not hinge on some personal inventory of traits. And while we're redefining compatibility, let's banish its more combustible cousin, "chemistry," that black box of a term too often invoked to denote the magic ingredient of a good relationship.